Today has been an interesting day or night I should say. First snowstorm of the year! It was a like a test of good deeds today. Who had patience and who didn't? Mom was stuck in traffic for 3 hours when her car just turned off on her. This is a 3 year old car! She doesn't own a cell phone and was knocking on doors for help. Some people ignored her, some people helped her. Someone actually let her in their car. Turns out, it was my friend Mike! What a small world. It actually made me feel good that there are people out there like Mike, or the two guys standing on the street helping people knowing their cars would get stuck there. It was a good vision to see today.
On the other hand, Boyfriend's birthday started at midnight. I'm not really sure if I was being selfish or just really really overwhelmed with agitation and anger. I never realized how hard it was to hold words back because you KNOW it would hurt the other person. I held it. Even though some of the things I thought, he may not have agreed to, or I could have just let it slide because it's HIS special day. Then I wouldn't really be me would I? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like he may be better off without me. Maybe even happier? I can be a brat. But I think that most my intentions are good. I really think...6 months ago...if we didn't get back together...would he be better off without me in his life?
3 a.m. probably delirious and have no idea what this will all mean to me tomorrow morning.
